He, of course, had a lot of loss away from home.But whenever we visited him, he was always clean and unscented, and from his interactions with us, we knew he had preserved his dignity.This dignity was all the more precious after illness and old age had robbed him of almost everything.

      "Do you want people to be left at home to be cared for, or do you want them to be sent to an institution where they can be looked after by someone who has been trained? If they stay at home, do they want their family to look after them, or do you want someone to look after them?"

       These questions, for the modern family, are almost inevitable sooner or later, in order to get a universally accepted answer, it also requires a lot of adjustment between the family and the patient.

       There is a crucial moment between a normal day and a decision to be made: "When the patient can't go to the bathroom by himself and has to rely on someone else to pee..."

       The reason I put it so bluntly is that excretion-related issues are not made beautiful and romantic by elegant wording. It's not just about spending more money on diapers, but more "action" to clean up the mess.

       It involves many deep spiritual situations, which sometimes cause more distress than the illness itself.

      The elderly stick to the last line of defense, do you feel?

   There are generally two stages in life when you can't take care of your excrement;One is in infancy and early childhood, and the other in old age and disability.

    Infants and young children period, children's lovely and parents take to love, there are very few because children need diapers, and send children to support institutions, at most care is the nanny baby sitting, infants and young children also won't feel ashamed because of the fart fart being seen - until they went to kindergarten, began to provide for oneself, from the surrounding people's comments, had come to know some parts of the exposure associated with shame.

   I have seen several young mothers, each pushing her pram, sharing afternoon tea, coffee and muffins, drawing the shapes and colors of their children's droppings with each other, so much so that no one at the next table knew they were about to throw up.But I have never, on any occasion, heard someone happily describe an elderly person's poop in their home.

The dignity of the elderly may be left to a professional

Six years ago, my elderly father suffered a stroke. At first, he was able to move freely and lived peacefully in his home, being cared for by his family and his domestic helper.

Photo source: Photo AC

By early 2015, has nearly ninety years of age, he began to lose to the problem of incontinence, home started out, he is a man with strong self-esteem is not willing to wear diapers, worried that her soiled clothes, struggling to almost every 20 minutes to go to the toilet, but because of bad on the line, almost every time, just fall down once.

So all day long, a few people in the family are helping him to get up on the toilet, he fell down, and then put him back on the bed, he got up, fell down again...Again and again, to the end, is also the elderly mother tired to emotional loss, fell on the ground to the father shouted: "How many times a day do you have to fall before you feel good?

It was a sad situation, and at this point we finally began to think seriously about the possibility of outsourcing.

At present, my father is in a good nursing home, his mood is calm, and he is well taken care of by trained doctors, nurses, and carers.

He, of course, had a lot of loss when he was away from home, but whenever we visited him, he was always clean and unscented, and from his interactions with us, we knew that he had preserved his dignity.This dignity was all the more precious after illness and old age had robbed him of almost everything.

Each family has its own unique circumstances, and spending money on outsourced care is not the only way.

But dignity is a thing that needs careful understanding and care. Without dignity, there will be resentment and anger, and the caregiver and the caregiver will torment each other. Who wants to spend the last part of life like this?